We are the Clampetts

So today we went to the gun range (as one does down  south). 

First though, Kay made a fantastic Irish brekkie for us all (complete with mamosas!). 

Then we headed to the range. 

Grover went first 

Grover oversaw my shooting (not sure why he looks so shocked at how well I was doing)

We used the 22, the 38, the rifle and the big gun

On the way home from the gun range Kevin pointed out the bus in the woods that clowns live in (actual clowns...not just weird people). 

Unsure why they feel it's necessary to put a not for sale on this.  It's buried in the woods off the highway!

Super G caught site of Terry's Value Mart and shook his head at mom disapprovingly....it was way ghetto...

When we got home Kelly asked Chris to walk over and get them at the bus stop so her and I put on our hats and headed over. 

We had a pig pile on Kevin. 

The kids took showers and came out wearing the same shirts (unplanned). How cute. 

Mom, Kevin, Kay and I went over to John and Katie's house for movie night.  They have a gorgeous home.  Mom wants to live in their kitchen. 

They have 2 cats, Noah and Mia, who I so want to steal. 

They have a fantastic home theater in their house.  

Noah was impatient for the movie to start. 

We watched Wedding Crashers (moms first time seeing it).  

Then it was off to home and rest up for the big Savannah trip!

Quote of the day: trainer at gun range telling the trainee "you want to shoot like you're in East LA"

Learned today:

Kevin listens to country music....willingly

The Family Party

So we had a nice sleep in.  Mom, Kevin and the kids went to church (we figured it was safer that way as Christine and I would be struck by lightening if we went in). 

I realized I also forgot to introduce Consuela (aka Chica) yesterday. She won't come near anyone she doesn't know but by the time she leaves, her and I are going to be besties if it kills me. 

Kay made us breakfast trying a new recipe she found on Pintrest for pancakes using cake mix and milk.  They were delicious!

After doing a bit of picking up, Mom, Cindy, Chris and I went for mani/pedis.  Moms first time ever getting a pedi in her life. I believe she found her happy place. 

 Moms nail technician Holly picked a different color for mom than what she selected. Christine said to mark this down as an old lady color. 

Once moms pedi was done she was literally walking up to people coming in saying don't my feet look great.  Yep, she is hooked; but we all have pretty feet and hands now. 

Once we were done we headed to the store to get more supplies for drinks and then headed home. 

Everyone was already at the house, Kevin had the smoker going and I got the drinks on. 

Kay's sister Diane and her family came. Cindy and Diane hadn't seen each other in a while so it was a great family reunion day for them. 

Cindy also completed her ice bucket challenge. Maybe it's just me but I think Samantha looks evilly happy dumping the water on Cindy. 

The rest of the day was spent hanging out with the family.  A nice quiet day for this vacation. 

Mom's quote of the day: while reading yesterday's blog says "we know Kevin and Kay made brats but shouldn't you say what we had for dinner".  (Referring to the kids for anyone that didn't get that-dad)

We FINALLY made it!

IAlmost 24 hours later we finally made it to Kevin and Kay's place.  

Christine took over driving through Virginia and the start of N Carolina (or should we say rolling forward at 5 MPH through VA). This is the traffic we were sitting in at midnight:

Who are all these people and what are they doing on the roads?!?!  We should have been cruising along over night! 

Poor Chris suffered through it and, after nearly being taken out by multiple 18 wheelers changing lanes (why do they think they own the roads?), we switched it up and I took on driving the rest of North Carolinaand South Carolina. 

Not long after we switched off the torrential rain started. We had been seeing lightning while Chris was driving but I got to take in the rain.  At times we were practically stopped because you couldn't see more than a few feet.  We got through it though. 

I had a Starbuck's Double Shot so I was WIDE awake.  Mom was asleep in the back.  Chris was in and out of sleep in the oh Jesus seat. Sadly I realized I had left my water in the back seat when I took out the coffee though and had no one awake to grab it for me #BadTravelCompanions. 

Not sure if it was the weather or because lights in billboards weren't on but we only saw maybe 5 South of the Border signs.  All of a sudden South of the Border was just there.  For hundreds of miles I thought we were just not making progress because we weren't seeing the signs!

Chris took over driving then but, unfortunately after about an hour, she started getting a migraine (that's what driving with my mother did to her) so I was back in. 

Now we hit the fog.  Again couldn't see far in front of the car. I kept saying the sun needed to come up to burn this off but it came up really late (seems everything, including sunrise, is slower down south). 

Of course mom wanted to stop and have a sit down breakfast too which slowed our time down.  After, as we filled up Walter, she bought some scratch tickets because she was "feeling lucky".  She win a free ticket. Went and got the free ticket and won nothing...not so lucky. 

So we were now in Georgia and we call Kevin. When we tell him where we are he said they never drive that way and tells us we should have gone a totally different route.  That would have been useful information about 24 hours ago!  My brother has become a true southerner...a bit slower than the rest of the world!

So we finally made it to the house. After saying hi to Kay, the kids and Kay's sister Cindy who is visiting, I went and washed the road grime off. We all caught up over lunch and then decided we needed drinks. Mom, Kay, Cindy and I made a packie run.  Did you know they made this?

Yep, bacon flavored Schnapps.  Gross.  Anyways, we got what we needed for frozen beverages (no pre-made mixes for us either; made from scratch piña coladas and mudslides).  

It was pointed out this is how the car likes to sit...nothing odd about this

And Kay got me an awesome new pair of flip flops!

Kevin and Kay made brats, grilled asparagus and salad for dinner. 

More drinks were made and JJ, Kelly and I started a game of Monopoly. 

Around 11 it was time for bed.  I'm sharing a room with Christine, who snores.  Kelly decided she wanted to set the cot up in our room and stay with us (she talked in her sleep).  I'm in for a good night sleep for sure...

And so the adventure begins

For the first time ever, the Waldron girls are hitting the open road!  Mom, Christine and I are heading to Atlanta to visit Kevin and the family.  

Christine and I started by picking up our rental car, Walter (took the upgrade to the luxury car and it's a good thing because it's stuffed!). 

Super Grover strapped himself in and put on his driving hat (part of the road trip rules was everyone has to have a driving hat) and we were off to pick up Mom. 

Now the plan was we would call Mom when we left Quincy and her and dad would leave Maine and we'd all meet in Danvers.  We called mom and said we left and she said 'oh, I guess I better pack'.  Oh boy!  So Christine and I get to Danvers and call to say we are there and mom says they're not even out of Eliot Maine yet!  So decision made Chris and I would drive up to the NH state liquor store and we'd meet there.  

We finally all met up.  After loading all moms stuff in the car, saying hi to Bentley, and going through the way we should drive down around Boston with dad (he said 495 would be less traffic but 95 would be faster still....obviously we go for speed regardless off traffic woes).  

So Christine put on her driving hat and we were off.  

We think Walter is an invisible car because everyone kept cutting us off like we weren't there. 

Mom and I started playing Rubber Neckers.  Super fun until you're trying to look over to the side and a stupid minivan keeps coming along side so you can't see if there's a weathervane on a house.  Thought mom was going to pee herself when I yelled 'get out of the way you f@$:ING D:$;)/e'

Chris got us to Connecticut and it was my turn to drive so I put on my driving hat and off we went

So I still feel Connecticut traffic is the worst.  It took hours to get thru.  We did stop for gas. As I was filling up(wearing my driving hat) the guy filling up next to us looked at me oddly....not sure what his problem was.  

So, of course, we hit NY at 4PM in the height of traffic so took forever to get through.  Also didn't help that I missed 95 turning so hit 295. Ugh.  We made it back to 95 (thanks to Margarita - our navigation) to sit in traffic; so have no fears. 

I think the only thing making this fun is my awesome playlist of crap songs mom made us listen to as kids.  Lots of Lionel Richie, Ann Murry Hall and Oates, Billy Joel, Doibie Brothers and Kenny Rogers.  Amazingly (or maybe sadly), Chris and I still know most of the words.  

 

I got us to New Jersey and Christine took over driving again.  When they say expect severe delays in this state they really mean it.  Trapped like rats on the NJ Turnpike.  Super G took a look and was very sad. 

To pass the time Super Grover and I started car dancing.  Not only did this entertain us but the people in other cars enjoyed the show too.  Sadly we realized Super G cannot do the Flashdance Maniac dance because his  feet are glued together:-(.  He also can't flip people the bird because he only has four fingers!  I feel I must talk to someone at Hasbro about this. 

Mom wanted me to call my nephew Kyle and ask if he was going to Maine this week.  I called him at the pet shop he works at.  I put on my deep voice and said I was Ramona who bought a bird from him 2 months ago and told him the bird died and asked if he would go to the birds funeral with me since he and Carlos (the birds name) were so close.  He thought we were nuts.  

The one redeeming quality about NJ is the gas stations.  They do a great job cleaning the windshield and even offer to check the oil.  Such service!

Super G got to watch the sunset over the Delaware Memorial Bridge.  

I forced Chris to take a nap well mom say up front for a while and we got they DC. 

And now Chris is driving....onto the southern states! 

Things I've learned today:

1. Waze does not have a button to report there are a-holes driving on the road

2. While I have an awesomely incredible singing voice driving alone to work every day, it may not translate over when others are in the car....unsure why this is so...

3. Mom is not a good co-pilot....she's very nervous. 

4. Mom is blind (or illiterate).  Reads sign and says '20 miles to Portsmouth'.   Chris' response: 'you mean Providence'. 

5. Christine also has reading issues.  Back of Megabus says "plus a reservation".  Christine says "I thought that said piss your reservation".  I'm getting nervous with these people driving. 

6. Mom would rather sit in the backseat where she gets car sick than be in the passenger seat when Christine's driving

7. I have my fathers temper (not sure when I adopted that)

8. No matter how loud you sing, if you sing the wrong words, they're still wrong

9. If we get a fight on this trip, with mom and Chris' medical history, it's going to be up to Super Grover and Me to take care of things

10. No matter what time if day, no matter what time of year, New Jersey just smells. There, I said it. 

Quote of the day: mom saying "I think I was a redneck in my former life" while listening to John Denver